Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart.. But you don’t know what to say..
And you don’t know where to start.. Have you ever closed your eyes and dreamed that they were there..
And all you can do is wait for that day when they will care..

Saturday 16 July 2016

Jealous - Daniel de Bourg (Heartbreak Lullaby #2)






I’m jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It’s closer than my hands have been
Oh, I’m jealous of the rain

I’m jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It’s closer than your shadow
Oh, I’m jealous of the wind, cause

I’m jealous of the nights
That I don’t spend with you
I’m wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I’m jealous of the nights

Said I’m jealous of the love
The love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Yes, I’m jealous of the love, cause

I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There’s nothing to forgive

But I always thought you’d come back
Tell me all you found were
Heartbreak and misery
It’s hard for me to say
I’m jealous of the way
You’re happy without me



Ashes And Wine - A Fine Frenzy (Heartbreak Lullaby #1)






Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
I'll drown in my tear storming sea
That would show you, that would make you hurt like me

All the same I don't want mudslinging games
It's such a shame to let you walk away

Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This day's spinning circus on a wheel
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Shut it out I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?

I'll tear myself away that is what you need
There is nothing left to say
But

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
The day's still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?



Saturday 2 July 2016

Heartbreak Lullaby




udah lama nggak posting blog, sekalinya posting malah mau curhat soal patah hati.. ahahaha.. 

well, mungkin nggak bisa dibilang patah hati juga sih, karena notabene baru mulai naksir-naksir nggak jelas sekitar bulan april.. dan emang nggak jelas, toh niat awalnya cuma buat nyari pemandangan indah aja (eh, itu jelas yak.. jelas-jelas cuma buat pemandangan indah doang).. tapi gara-gara dibikin baper (atau emang hatinya aja ke-GR-an doang - damn you, heart!), tanpa sadar semuanya berubah.. dan kemarin akhirnya merasakan kembali yang namanya patah hati.. nangis malem-malem sampai nyesek (dan bikin kepala dung-deng).. denger lagu mellow dikit langsung sensitif.. my world changed in a flick of time.. dan mendadak punya soundtrack aja, lagu yang tiba-tiba keputer sendiri di kepala dan nggak bisa buat dihapus..

pertama kejadian, yang kepikiran langsung lagu Notice Me-nya David Archuleta.. but in fact, he noticed me, really notice me.. sikap dia baik banget, terlalu baik malah.. terlalu ramah malah.. dan aku sering mergokin dia merhatiin aku, ngelirik ke arah aku (makanya jadi bikin baper juga!).. the only question is did he notice my heart.. mungkin nggak.. mungkin aku hanyalah salah satu jiwa menyenangkan yang hadir dalam hidupnya dia.. yeah, rite, menyenangkan.. ribet sih iya, ahahaha..

dan kemudian aku jatuh hati sama lagu Ashes and Wine-nya A Fine Frenzy.. awalnya sih gara-gara pengen dengerin yang Almost Lover (nope, we never in 'almost lover' position, never that far), akhirnya mutusin buat dengerin full satu album dan langsung stuck sama lagu Ashes and Wine..
 
Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel? 
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind? 
Or are we ashes and wine?

begitu denger liriknya berasa ngena banget aja.. I'm still searching for a chance, somehow he realize my feeling.. says he has some feeling for me.. I guess it just my wishful thinking, huh? *pukpuk diri sendiri

beberapa hari lalu dengerin lagi Jealous-nya Labrinth, tapi cover version-nya Daniel De Bourg.. dan upaya merelakanku berhenti di situ.. hingga sekarang, berapa banyak pun lagu yang aku denger, nada pertama yang keluar tanpa sadar adalah reffrain lagu ini.. bahkan, saat kemarin lagi reunian with my girls, denger intronya aja aku udah tahu..

I wished you the best of all this world could give..
and I told you when you left me there's nothing to forgive..
but I always thought you'd come back, 
tell me all you found were heartbreak and misery..
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way..
you're happy without me..

dan~
bikin pengen nangis lagi aja..

sebenernya aku juga nggak nyangka bakal 'kebablasan' seperti ini.. status pemandangan indah entah sejak kapan mulai berubah.. mungkin sejak aku nangkep 'perhatian-perhatian' dia yang terasa berbeda.. sapaan dia yang tiba-tiba.. komentar yang tiba-tiba.. perlahan dia mulai masuk lebih dalam.. and voila, I've got myself a brokenheart.. well, tapi udah lama juga sih nggak ngerasain lagi nangis malem-malem sampai mata bengkak.. ribuan tanya yang ingin dilayangkan pada sang Pencipta, namun hanya sunyi yang lahir, karena kata tak sanggup terangkai.. berharap dalam sepi pun ingin hati dapat tersampaikan, dialog dengan sang Penguasa Malam pun dapat tercipta.. berharap Dia dapat mengerti inginku.. berharap aku dapat menerima ceritaku.. yang entah akan bermuara di mana..

hey, kamu..
aku kemarin belum sempet bilang ya..
terima kasih untuk semuanya..